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Commencement

by Schoolyard Survival

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1.
So Much Better 03:47
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I wouldn't say I'm numb, but I have lost a lot of feeling I let go of my grudges and I've tried to stop complaining I pick up on your hints but I still wish that'd you'd stop wishing I have to do what's best for me, my priorities are shifting I am so much better than I used to be Am I so much better than I used to be? I wouldn't say I'm great, but I've been feeling much less empty I let go of my secrets, I don't care who's out to get me We hate to feel so helpless, but I'll dare to say it again: Forget about the problems of the world, cause you can't fix them I am so much better than I used to be Am I so much better than I used to be? I've seen the Highest highs and lowest lows With confidence that never shows I'm right here, and somehow I am so much better now Forgive, forget, and futz around, go driving in the nighttime I cover more distance in one step than you will in your lifetime If I work hard I'll get that nine-to-five, or so I'm told No matter what happens, I'm growing up but I'm never growing old I am so much better than I used to be Am I so much better than I used to be? I've seen the Highest highs and lowest lows With confidence that never shows I'm right here, and somehow I am so much better now Stuck between my teenage fears and a grown-up sense of self I'm sick of feeling sorry for what makes your life less hell I don't know what's going on, and frankly, I don't care Just call me up this weekend, and you know that I'll be there I've seen the Highest highs and lowest lows With confidence that never shows I'm right here, and somehow I am so much better now A new disguise I've come to know With arrogance that starts to show I'm lost here, yet somehow I'm still so much better now I am so much better now
2.
Moment, Last 04:06
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I wake up to a telephone Reminding me I made it home last night I pull the sheets over my head And waste the daylight in my bed, alright Sometimes it feels like tragedy That there was never you and me Or anyone willing to see what I see You don't have to say it There's plenty other fish in the sea With matching melodies I am self-involved I am so enthralled by you Final curtain call As I cover up the truth I'm freaked out by the future But still caught up in the past And we never seem to make the moment last I wake up in the afternoon In the middle of an empty room it seems At night I ponder loneliness Insomnia has got the best of me Sometimes it feels so difficult To get a positive result Or anything better than smokescreen insults You don't have to say it Relax, take a breath, try again Well, I am sick of listening I am self-involved I am so enthralled by you Final curtain call As I cover up the truth I'm freaked out by the future But still caught up in the past And we never seem to make the moment last Push it out, there is so much more For you to discover and explore and now the Wolves are outside your front door will you let them in, do you feel secure Make it last, there is not much left The years come creeping up like death if I was Just outside of your front door Would you let me in Or are you not so sure Are you not so sure
3.
Checkout Counter 03:25
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Hanging out at a thrift shop with some of my friends I was buying some clothes for the coming weekend When I walked up to buy some new jeans The check-out counter got a whole new meaning Staring at me with her bright grey eyes She'd take your heart if you'd give her the time She asks if I found everything okay I try to figure out just what to say, yeah With a smirk on her face and this thing about her I can't help but to duck and cower She looks confused as I try to speak With way too much formality As clumsy words trip off my tongue My face turns red and the air escapes my lungs I'm a freak but it's no excuse For getting st-st-stupid over you And later I will figure out what I should've said G# Eb C#/C C# Repeat the lines as I kick myself in the head G# Eb C#/C Eb So I'll go home and I'll spend some time alone again Bb C# F Eb C# I'll spend some time alone again Eb Later in the car my friends all laugh They say I gotta grow up and all that crap I play it off like it's no big deal But it represents something much more real I can't relate to anybody So how could anyone ever love me? It's just a thought, it might seem trite But it keeps me up at night (keeps me up at night) And later I will figure out what I should've said Repeat the lines as I kick myself in the head So I'll go home and I'll spend some time alone again I'll spend some time alone And later I will figure out what I should've said Repeat the lines as I kick myself in the head So I'll go home and I'll spend some time alone again I'll spend some time alone again And now my tail's between my legs I think I know what's between yours
4.
Character Traits 03:25
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Shiver away the day's mistakes My jacket's not heavy enough for the bitter cold Fighting just to stand up straight I just wanna do what I wanna do before I get too old Right now what Americans call football Captivates the masses around me Shrugging off what they call "simple pleasures" Home and lonely is where I'd rather be Some would say I'm messed up Others call me manic You just call me quirky Idiosyncratic Baby please don't leave yet I think I almost had it So wave goodbye and watch me panic Two years ago I would have thought that Everything was a-ok, it's all normal But now the littlest dip in seratonin Has got me falling headfirst into the parking lot of the mall They say I'm young but I could tell them Everything that's wrong with their inflated brains When the doctors say, personality disorder I smile and say, character traits You'd think I would've grown out of this by now You'd think I would've grown out of this Four o'clock in the afternoon and I can't leave my bed Paranoia has won the fight against logic in my head But don't mind me, no don't mind me I'm just the guy you think is kind of cool Just don't mind me, no don't mind me I never went to middle school Some would say I'm messed up Others call me manic You just call me quirky Idiosyncratic Baby please don't leave yet I think I almost had it So wave goodbye And watch me panic Wave goodbye and watch me panic Wave goodbye and watch me, watch me, go! After a simple conversation I find myself on the bedroom floor But it's a wonderful life, my dear Who could ask for anything more?
5.
Crossroads 03:43
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Now I can tell, yeah I can tell That every smile is fake You never made a promise That you did not intend to break So here I am, alone again And now I've finally had enough The backseat window won't reflect Mistakes and failing trust Now every kiss gets staler With every little failure 'Bout time someone came along And shattered my illusions 'Bout time someone made me lose My faith in what I called "love" It's about time for an explanation So come on and do your worst It's about time that I understand Why they all say "You won't forget your first" Now I can tell, yeah I can tell The truth, or I could let it go I could let you treat me like a fool And just pretend that I don't know Cause now we're at a crossroads And now I'm starting to lose heart I carved it out the moment I pictured us apart 'Bout time someone came along And shattered my illusions 'Bout time someone made me lose My faith in what I called "love" It's about time for an explanation So come on and do your worst It's about time that I understand Why they all say "You won't forget your first" Now every kiss gets staler With every little failure I read you like that book you gave me Feigned affection will not save me You crossed your fingers But a sense of hope still lingers And even though it doesn't make sense I'll chock it up to life experience 'Bout time someone came along And shattered my illusions 'Bout time someone made me lose My faith in what I called "love" It's about time for an explanation So come on and do your worst It's about time that I understand Why they all say "You won't forget your first" You won't forget your first You won't forget your first
6.
Written in the Stars 03:26
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More than just coincidence It was written in the stars That we would be together Then swiftly torn apart Then all at once I could smell the coffee on your breath again I could feel your fingers Grazing over mine Then all at once I could taste your insincerity again Increasing atmospheric pressure As I get closer to you More than just coincidence It was written in the stars That we would be together Then swiftly torn apart So I will find my stereo And dust off the old CDs, cause she's Never coming, never coming, back to me At times you tried At times you really couldn't care at all I could feel you giving Up without a fight It's a new year Just twelve more months to get through now, there is no Resolution For you and me More than just coincidence It was written in the stars That we would be together Then swiftly torn apart So I will fill her hollow shell With anyone I please, cause she's Never coming, never coming, back to me More than just coincidence It was written in the stars That we would be together Then swiftly torn apart So I'll find my way on my own I'll love until I bleed, cause she's Never coming, never coming, no, she's Never coming, never coming, back to me
7.
Background Noise 03:04
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You struck the chord, It was music to their ears You're dressed up to the nines And playing on their fears And if your looks could kill This club would be an abattoir, and Not even your closest friends Have a f#%king clue just who you are You're lying like it's going out of style Won't you tell me, does this make you feel worthwhile? What happened to chivalry? what happened to poise? You get off on the coup de gras Of well-intentioned boys What happened to honesty And all that you've destroyed? Lifeless minds and mindless lives To you it's all just background noise You only think about the future In terms of next month's clothes You point out others' problems But you'd never admit your own Who would ever want to wake up Next to you (next to you) I bet that, every time it happens It feels like deja vu Tell me baby, was it worth the sin? I don't even know where to begin!!! What happened to chivalry? what happened to poise? You get off on the coup de gras Of well-intentioned boys What happened to honesty And all that you've destroyed? Lifeless minds and mindless lives to you it's all just background noise
8.
Sticks and Stones Part 2 03:29
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Short circuits and false dependence Sharp nails in picket fences Sick of keeping my hands to myself Summer settings and hurricane hearts Callous crises and modern art Adding two more notches to my belt Whiteboards and obligations Medicine for recreation Sick of never taking what I give Countdowns and apprehension Loneliness and pretention Dying without having really lived Sticks and stones will never break these bones But being the last one standing never felt so alone One day I'll understand why good things have to end But for now, I'll just have to pretend Creation and confusion Maintaining the illusion Sick of never working up the nerve Avoidance and disaster Could we sink any faster? Bloody nose from life throwing me curves Sticks and stones will never break these bones But being the last one standing never felt so alone One day I'll understand why good things have to end But for now, I'll just have to pretend That everything turns out okay But I can't find the words to say Figure out a way to find the courage within No one told me that was in the job description Shuddering, it never shakes the cold And being the one forgotten has gotten oh-oohw-old One day I'll understand why good things have to end But for now I'll just have to, now I'll Sticks and stones will never break these bones But being the last one standing never felt so alone One day I'll understand why good things have to end But for now, I'll just have to Now I'll just have to Now I'll just have to pretend
9.
Lightning in a Jar 03:26
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It's days like this That make me not want to remember your name Cause I've been gnawing at my tongue since we started this game And it's like No matter what I do I can't forget your face Or the place where tears chase every fall from grace Do you remember when I died in your dreams? You were awoken in a cold sweat by your own screams Cause I know That that was back when you used to care Back when those dreams were still considered nightmares Two more weeks it'll all be over Two more months will decompose her Not that it matters to me All those nights you wake and wonder Is sunlight worth rain and thunder? Still you see possibility They tell me You can't capture lightning in a jar They tell me You can't try to reignite the spark I don't think You were the best I'm gonna get Cause baby I wanna be... Your biggest regret So I can claim all the credit that I deserve Cause my parting words must have struck the right nerve And you miss me You tell me while I'm burning the bridge But the fire is still lit so pick a side and commit I'm sick and tired of the inclement weather It's just a constant reminder that it's not getting any better I know that The sunshine and smiles are gone But at what point did you realize that you were wrong? Our attraction was dictated By chemicals which indicated False promises of compatibility Pheromones were on the rise Seratonin in decline Cyanide always a possibility They tell me You can't capture lightning in a jar They tell me You can't try to reignite the spark I don't think You were the best I'm gonna get Cause baby I wanna be your biggest regret We burn our money in a little glass bowl We need a break cause life can take its toll Try green when you're feeling blue But it won't fix what she did to you [x2] They tell me You can't capture lightning in a jar They tell me You can't try to reignite the spark I don't think You were the best I'm gonna get Cause baby I wanna be your biggest regret [x2]
10.
Guts (Do You Feel Me) 03:31
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I can't decide whether to hate myself Or claim that I'm above all others Do I deserve attention More or less than all my brothers Would suicide send a message That all I ever feel is worthless Still, I'd never have the guts to do it Besides, your pleasure is not quite worth it Because you lie in the bed you make I never make my bed, but I still lie To make myself seem smarter As I squander volumes of my life Do I need medication Or are these just symptoms of complaining Children in third world countries Starve while I worry 'bout my smile fading You don't know me, You can't judge me Do you feel me? Here's my story You don't know me, You can't judge me Do you feel me? I hate to feel self-pity Too many kids waste their time wallowing And I'm not any better But at least I don't pride myself on following All the sheep and their shepherds Forcing lonely virgins to cave in I reject the idea That denial is another form of acceptance You don't know me, You can't judge me Do you feel me? Here's my story You don't know me, You can't judge me Do you feel me? You don't know me, You can't judge me Do you feel me? Here's my story You don't know me, You can't judge me Do you feel me? Cause I'd never have the guts
11.
Extra Ordinary 03:41
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Did you know I can disappear Behind smiles and a thousand lies When your eyes, like knives, cut so deep Everyone's all gone again I guess it's just a growing trend If only you were here tonight I tell myself that I will be alright When words decrease between you and me When we take our hearts off of our sleeves I disappear, I disappear, I want you here When always turns into never We'll pretend we just can't remember These awful fears, these awful fears, I need you here Nobody's who they say they are, There's nobody you can trust And my lust, my crush, has gone away I watch the bottle, I watch the glass I watch as things blur and I let time pass If I go back now, this will never end I will not make the same mistake again When words decrease between you and me When we take our hearts off of our sleeves I disappear, I disappear, I want you here When always turns into never We'll pretend we just can't remember These awful fears, these awful fears, I need you here They say I shouldn't fear my nightmares But if this is what my mind can do You'll excuse me if I'm terrified, excuse me if I'm terrified They say I shouldn't fear my failures But if this is what my words can do You'll excuse me if I'm silent, please excuse me if I'm silent When words decrease between you and me When we take our hearts off of our sleeves I disappear, I disappear, I want you here When always turns into never We'll pretend we just can't remember These awful fears, these awful fears, I need you here When I disappear, my salvation is here.
12.
Silhouettes 04:20
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All throughout the seasons With no one to call my own I almost got accustomed to A life lived all alone But I knew something was missing Made clearer by my dreams I was just so full of love It was almost sickening It was the end of the Summer And I couldn't think at all I was looking down from a lonely cliff Just waiting for the Fall You made things so clear to me You wanted to be alone Still, the next week I'd ask again But in a different tone Autumn was well underway I finally had it all The girl of my dreams was in my arms In the middle of a concert hall Even when my thoughts deceived The clearest realities You were so quick to tell me that Your love was what it seemed Baby, don't worry 'bout privacy The condensation from our body heat Will make us only silhouettes to anyone outside Baby, don't worry 'bout empathy The lines all blur when you're in front of me The headlights make us silhouettes and I can't see you cry whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa Winter came around the bend And things started to change I chronicled your every word But you still couldn't explain Now you've gone out of my life And I couldn't be more pleased When I watch my dog chew up the things That you kindly gave to me Baby, don't worry 'bout you and me We will be alright, just wait and see Though we're only silhouettes in the recess of my mind Now I don't worry 'bout anything Everything works out eventually But I'm just a silhouette Baby, we're all silhouettes Yeah, I'm just a silhouette But I know I'll be fine

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Schoolyard Survival's home-recorded first full-length album

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released August 18, 2012

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Schoolyard Survival Houston, Texas

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